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Updated: Oct 2, 2022

Thirteen years ago I went on a meditation course for 10 days. That is 10 days of no caffeine, no alcohol, no meat and no communication (this includes no phone, no talking, no eye contact and no body language).

There are so many things I could talk about with that 10 day course, but what most people ask about is how do you survive 10 days without talking?

The interesting thing about not talking for 10 days is how unnecessary talking becomes. You begin to learn that manners and niceties such as saying please, thank you and sorry act as masks to our true feelings. We rely heavily on these masks to get through every day, but our relationships suffer as a result. Eventually we find that we’re having whole conversations based on habit rather than truth.

If you don’t actually believe and feel what you’re saying, it shows. If you say kind words, but are actually angry on the inside, people can feel that. To nourish your relationships, you need to be able to genuinely feel the kindness and the forgiveness and the sorrow. And to feel it, you need to consider what your role is in each situation. What do the people around you really need from you?

Think about someone important in your life. What does the other person need from you in this relationship? What is your role and what will you do to fulfil your role. When my husband refers to me as his wife, I feel honoured and I can clearly see that my role in this relationship is to be a support (whatever that might mean on the day). When I take a moment to think in this manner, little worries melt away and I naturally fulfil this role. I emit an energy of acceptance and peace, and in turn the environment is right so that he is able to easily fulfil his role.

Take this concept with you in all of your interactions. Our roles are different in every situation. Make your impact in the lives of those around you and figure out what people need from you and what do you need to adjust within yourself to fulfil that role truthfully.

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